light passing through
open door in morning shadows
time stops to say hello
Light On My Wall
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Semi-colons: the beloved penny; stop killing: poetry
this is always happening to me, when the curtains are cracked or open and it's not so hot, light shining or reflected through my window onto the wall. I have many, many photos of this type.
My professor taught us never to rewrite the poem of another, but that doesn't seem to be in effect generally, so: you know, you don't really need 'light passing' since you have the photo. This is a big sticking point in haiga, and your poem is not wrong, I just prefer to not state the obvious. Your poem made me think of this, however (as I said, this phenomenon happens to me all the time:
in morning shadows
through open door
I say hello to Time
See, that's just the opposite point of view. Or
in morning shadows
through open door
arrested Time
Congratulations on tackling interesting subjects. If I didn't like it I would not have said anything 🙂
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Thais, Thanks for visting and your kind response! Thanks for sharing on gplus too!
Glad you enjoyed it!
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nice one. 🙂 shared it on g plus as well. 🙂
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