A Quickened Death
PUBLISHED wFOR OPENLINK NIGHT FOR
dVERSEPOETS THIS TUESDAY
NIGHT IN JUNE!
dVERSEPOETS THIS TUESDAY
NIGHT IN JUNE!
I don’t know anything
Most certainly ~ nothing!
Feelings drown out my
day
Thrown down & tossed
out
Ragged myths of farewell
bliss
How to step up and fight
Carry on
Didn’t you hear me?
Hours of the day
mount
Sullen moments
belie
My solemn
dread
the calm before a storm
I don’t know anything
Most certainly ~ nothing!
Uncertain future plays over
again
and
again
Too much to control with too much
waste
Fast forward as I’m in a
rush
Meaning escapes me ~ I place my
hope
in a quickened death
Carry on
Didn’t you hear me?
Shadowleaves on Lake Ann 
Glad you enjoyed this write! I know it is very dark ~ no fever or hallucinatory actions ~ however the sense if urgency is certainly here! A dear friend of mine faces vascular surgery on both of her legs & may loose a foot . . . just hard to face possibilities she might not come through the surgery! I am hopeful & prayerful ~ looking for a miracle really ~ resurrection!
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Pam ~ it is certainly a dark subject ~ I tried to capture the push & pull between giving up or continuing on even if don't know you will make it through or not ~glad you liked it!
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Hey Ed thanks my dear friend ~ I'm pleased that you think I'm improving ~ goes back to the more you write the better you should get! 🙂 hoping that's true! Glad you pointed out a couple of my lines – I agree the lines work better with fewer! THANK YOU ~ I'll make some edits ~ again you are kind to be a mentor!
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Almost like something out of a fever or hallucination–great sense of urgency, great use of repetition to underline it. Enjoyed much.
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Thanks so much Louise for taking time to read & comment! I know it is a difficult subject which I normally do not write as a theme! Thanks for your feedback ~ always appreciated! Loved reading your writing earlier tonight! THANKS ~
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Quite dark and emotive. This flows really well to read … like it much!
http://swansongsandprose.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/gust-of-heather.html
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of course I meant calm before a storm, as you have it in your poem, not the storm
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when I first read this I thought, wow, she's getting better, and this is an improvement over your previous poems. It takes a little pondering, a few extra readings, to get the full meaning, and that's a good thing. I have no nits to pick. Of course I don't necessarily agree with fast forward. And maybe you could say the calm before the storm, instead of like the calm before the storm, but overall a really good poem. Congratulations.
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i really like the structure of this…the broken out single word lines are very effective in driving emotion….powerful piece…now carry on…
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Oh, this is powerful…captures well how hard it is to let go of those negative voices that we all have within ourselves…they can be very persuasive…..very strong poem, Joan!
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