I am
on the outside
I brush
up against my insides
rushing forward
I trace
    into life —
folded up
against the
charting a course
I am pressed
grain of sand
it’s crystal clear
I’m cut off from my own sight
mix nor colors
not a hue
spirit of 


TUESDAY’S http://dVersePoets.com/

27 thoughts on “Shadowleaves”

  1. Hey Beez ~ thank you so very much for your kind words & encouragement! You got it right!! This is exactly how I feel as I struggle with a new beginning ! Thanks Beez!! ~ so glad that my words did convey that feeling ~ as that was what I had tried to capture! 🙂


  2. Ed ~ thanks for your comments! Yes the poem is something I have not written in-line before. Took me some time to place this type of theme in such a public forum! But glad I did! I have been dealing with many losses & chronic health problems which have forced many changes in my life that I wasn't really ready for ~ having to redefine my life! Many if your edits I too agree need to be changed ~ thanks!!


  3. Louise ~ oh WOW ~ how super kind of you ~ thank you so much ~ glad you enjoyed this piece!! Trying to say allot about knowing myself & being able to take new steps forward in my life! Again thank you! ~ meand so much to me!


  4. Brian ~ so glad you enjoyed this piece ~ & the video/music too! I was in my living room listening to classical music which happened to be playing! The morning light just streamed into the room & I happened to watch the heat & shadows from the light play & dance on the ceiling! Just a super inspired happen stance moment! 🙂 thanks again!


  5. It is the essence of us moves us, what is not seen, rather what is felt . . . or so it's there, seems to be there.

    Lovely introspection . . . I trust you are pleased with what you found there.

    I like your poem. I like it a lot.


  6. Hello Joanie I understand how one feels as colours On the Outside but within the shadows appear and they are neither colour or hue and when one does feel cut off from their own sight of who they are it is quite real to feel as this poetry speaks .. it is wonderful thankQ beez


  7. I like the poem. I guess if I were writing it myself I might try to make all the stanzas have the same number of lines, in this case probably three lines each. But strangely enough I kind of like having the last word by itself.

    I love the image 'living folded up against the world' like a roadmap folded and stuck in a drawer somewhere.

    You have a lot of great images. 'Pressed like a grain of sand' is striking, and if you think about it, a grain of sand is hard not soft. “Crystal clear” seems a little cliche, and unless it has definite meaning for you I might just say “clear.” Also, I might say “it is clear” instead of using the contraction.
    Also I would say “neither . . . nor” instead of “neither . . . or.”

    Also, in a poem like this, where each word carries so much weight, you have two instances of “I am” and two instances of “I'm” and I wonder if you might want to just have four instances of “I am”? Of course I can understand if you want to leave the I'ms and I ams as they are.

    I wonder if you've said what you want to say in the poem. In one instance you say you are colors, then you say you're not colors. If you meant to say that, fine. Just thought I'd mention it.

    I do like this poem. If there is anything about it that I don't understand, that may just be my problem, and not a problem of the poem. If I recall correctly, this poem seems to address concerns that have not been addressed in many of your previous poems. That is one reason why I was motivated to make rather extensive comments. I applaud and congratulate you for your effort here. Keep up the good work.


  8. excellent video. It's great being an artist isn't it? To be fascinated by things that most people ignore. I also have many photos of shadowleaves but have not yet known what to do with them. So far I've just been content, I guess, to take the photos.

    Nice poem, lots of great images.


  9. You've invited us into a world where color and shadow take on the hues of your personality. Many excellent lines here that evoke so much of who you are and your relationship to the world.


  10. This poem moves like a swift paintbrush. I like the terse structure of this little gem. Nice! Jacquie (fumanchucat)


  11. being pressed like a grain of sand and tracing oneself back into life…speaks to me of being folded, folded for too long..def. time to dance and break free….


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